Of cats and women

 So lately a lot has happened, my Fuaji (father’s sister’s husband) passed in September. I moved in with my faiji (father’s sister) as she doesn’t have any children to take care of her. I’ve been trying to adjust my new life as it’s exhausting there’s so much to do and much to process. Life is not been easy sometimes I feel I’ve been failing, I just try to do what’s best for others and sometimes I forget to take care of myself. Usually I always get hurt and go into a depression there’s no one to talk to and it’s been a long journey for me but writing always helps and is my way of coping. I feel like I’m going to be a crazy cat lady after my aunt passes but who knows what’s in store for me yet. At one point I feel my life hasn’t started and another I feel I’m too late to the game. I’m 36 and haven’t dated anyone in person for a while due to Covid. Part of me is questioning if I should start dating again or not I’ve been letting that idea swim in my head and been trying to pray and seek guidance on this so far I feel I’m not ready yet, however part of me feels that I better start soon. I’m at odds with myself at the end of the day I’ve to let things happen naturally and trust that it will work out.