ah...the pettiness of people

so it has been confirmed by another friend that I had been "let go" because another tutor did not like me. Who knows why? I hardly talked to her and minded my own business, perhaps she was racist? As my supervisor said a student claimed that I insulted her because she was Muslim? I replied well, that's strange since I am Muslim, myself. Funny isn't it? Another instance was when one of the tutors didn't know what it meant to "bear arms" as in have guns, he thought it meant to have bear arms...0_o and I am a bad tutor? Now I am thinking, why in the world didn't I defend myself, esp if my one of the upper people said oh I got a lot of complaints about you...I should have said, then why didn't you call me into your office and confront me? Why didn't you let me know I was not doing my job properly? Don't I get a warning? Or advice? You just fire me because of some other employee doesn't like me? That person always makes baked goods and other things to be in good standing with others...ooo BLANK brought me cookies...that's awesome, doesn't matter if they talk shit behind my back...really? WOW...good luck judging yourself in the afterlife sister! May you be reborn a better person!

take me to court...won't you?

I watched a Pakistani movie, Khuda ke Liye, it's very nice. It has some very disturbing yet true information. The character Maulana Wali, played by Naseeruddin Shah explains the true Islam very effectively. It is my dream that I too understand the Quran as he did, so I could quote it to some of my misinformed family. No one wants to hear how they have been praying incorrectly, or how if we do not dress or act a certain way, we shall be punished. Ours is not a punishing God, He is absolute love, even if you murdered, tortured people. WHY? Because our souls are ever pure! If a diamond was surrounded by dirty rock, fungus, bacteria, and other bad organisms, would it change being a diamond? No, it would stay the same. Just like that our souls are ever pure. What happens if we die and we were the evil of most evil? Well our soul is taken to a sort of time-out where it is cleansed by loving beings of light. At some point we have lived an evil life, we are all ever learning, ever growing. If you read closely, you too shall find it. Ezekiel 18:20 says The person who sins shall die. A child shall not suffer for the iniquity of a parent, nor a parent suffer for the iniquity of a child; the righteousness of the righteous shall be his own, and the wickedness of the wicked shall be his own.
This verse can be interpreted in various ways, however what I have underlined, in my understanding supports that we are shown our rightful and wrongful behavior, it is only us that own it. In addition, it supports my theory that what we own, we are shown in the after-life known as Akashic Records, there are many blogs about it, research it. (one I found was http://www.raysofhealinglight.com/100_neddawittels.htm) there are also tons of after life websites which describe meeting God or sometimes with a higher power which is most of the time your higher soul. Paramhansa Yogananda is an amazing teacher on this subject. I am no teacher, I am just a baby who is in search of knowledge.

dedication

Heartbroken by Asma Raja

You were my friend, 

you could have been my companion,

you chose not to be.

I thought we could still be friends,

until you decided that we shouldn't be.

It's one thing to lose a potential companion,

but it's heartbreaking to loose a friend.

I could have been your all, until you chose not to be involved,

and for what? Your work? Your work will not share your life when you get old.

I may sound bitter, if that is so, then you made me that way.

You want an aggressive woman? WELL, here she is!

RIGHT IN YOUR FACE! You wanted someone who 

does not treat you courteously, 

now I don't think I can be that anymore, unless you apologize.

Even then, I do not know if I want my heart broken again.

Huntington Library...

as promised the pictures....there are more to come :)

come together

This life is temporary, we have to understand what we are searching for. All humans are seeking "something" what is that "something"? It's God, you may think I am religious but not really. Religious is attachment to rites and rituals of a particular religion, I am unattached I just love God, that is known as Spiritual. I want to do more good, I don't think I can survive with the guilt that I could have helped more people. Unfortunately, right now all I can do is pray, not even give my time (volunteer). At least I am going to Huntington Library on Friday June 21st, I will post pictures :)

My therapy

My therapy is writing, it has always been that way. Ever since I was a teen, I have forgotten what it is like. I have noticed I can't even watch a movie at home without doing something on a computer or cellphone. I have become too addicted to games and such, and I am losing time with myself and with those around me. I have decided that whenever I spend time with someone I will not be on the phone, unless it is absolutely necessary. I will encourage the other person to do the same as I am taking time out for them and vice versa. Thus, they should be interacting with me, that is not much to ask. Without human interaction, we are going to develop into a intellectually poor people. I am not willing to be one of them, are you? I am so tired of being put down by everyone that I need to re-energize myself from their negativity and rise; that is much easier said than done. I wish I had time to do what matters most to me. Perhaps someday my day will come, and I have to make the effort into making that happen, somehow.

It's Almost April...

Warning: I am very hungry as I write this. So, lately I have been wondering about where I WANT my life to go. I cannot control what happens, but I can control the choices I make. I have to live with my choices whether they are right or wrong. If they are wrong, then I learn my lesson, hopefully! But most of the time, I am dealt with the consequences of my own choices. Usually, those consequences make me cringe and makes me want to scream and shout. Well, enough ranting...time to eat

the tale of two kitties

I think I am going to end up a cat lady. My bro has his cat, Rafiki (a boy, means friend in Swahili) and I have mine named Nyeusi (a girl, means Black). I love these two crazy cats, they keep me happy when I am sad, who needs a dog, they are so much more work. I am going to start writing short stories/novels again. I have so many ideas on Fiction, I just have to find more ideas and inspiration. I have taken many snippets of my life into my books, but I need to go beyond in order to be a better writer. Also any suggestions for a psuedo or alternate name? I want to keep my last name but I am thinking of using another name. Any suggestions? Ideas? Comments? Please feel free to tell me :)

Who are the real illegals?

So there is a lot of controversy in the senate right now for illegal immigration, everyone here is illegal, with the exception of Native Americans!  How can anyone justify what the pioneers did to the Natives? They stole their land, relocated them to harsh environments, took their daughters and raped them, gave them diseases, and robbed them for all their worth. Yet, they treat us kindly, gently and with tolerance. I dread to think if that happened today, what would we do if we did not have these advanced weapons? We all belong to the Earth, we need to learn to accept one another and live in harmony. Not define borders, not have a money system (it's called barter trade), no religion too!

saving for my birthday

so I have done a lot of thinking, and I want to go kayaking for summer during my birthday. I am going to start saving money from now, and take a week or less off. I want to go to La Jolla and stay in a hotel/motel, even if I have to do it alone. However I also need save money because I will not have enough money for summer, I need to find a better paying job with stable hours.